It looks easy when you see it on TV. You saw Torvill and Dean win their Olympic gold medal. You imagine how lovely it will be to go ice skating, to glide smoothly across the ice, just like those professionals who had been training for years.
In reality, you haven’t skated for 15 years. You are not glamourous. You are not graceful.
What it is actually like, is one of those videos where you see the newborn animal struggling to get to its feet and use its legs for the first time – a foal, or maybe a giraffe. But even those ungainly newborn animals have a natural grace that you do not have.
You will have at least one dramatic fall, if not two.
You’ll have at least one heavy collision with the wall, if not more.
Your better-at-skating-than-you friends will be whizzing around the rink, stopping in now and again as you pull yourself around the edge by rail. “Are you OK?” they ask kindly, their faces a mix of concern and concealed amusement. There’s nothing they can do to help you. You just want them to go away and not draw attention to your helplessness.
You’ll be humiliated when a group of small children come tumbling out onto the ice and whisk by you at great speed.
You will come off the ice and your legs, feet, bum and arms will all be aching.
“Wasn’t that fun? Let’s do it again next year!”
Tales from Tobhamhor 