Those moments

There are moments in your life that stick with you matter how many years of past no matter how old you get.

One of those moments that I remember is for my friend’s birthday party I’m trying to think how old we would’ve been at the time. Seven? Eight? No more than nine, that’s for sure.

There were all the usual trappings you have at a children’s party: high sugar soft drink, high sugar treats and lots of junk food with absolutely no nutritional value. But there were also games.

And for every game there was a prize.

One of the games, perhaps introduced by a parent who wanted to wear out a roomful of children all screaming on a sugar high, was the dancing competition.

I knew I had limited sporting skills in the field of throwing and catching and hitting balls, but dancing I could do. I threw myself into it, convinced this was my game and I was going to win.

Every so often the music would stop and the host, my best friend, would have to pick some dancers to ‘leave the stage‘.

(FYI there was no actual stage, just a space in the rumpus room with the sofas pushed back.)

I danced my little heart out, and eventually it came down to two of us for the prize. A dance off! I was feeling pretty good about my chances, especially as my competition wasn’t putting her full effort in.

The final song began and I went for it. I threw myself into the dance and the music, spinning around, flailing limbs, dancing like I was possessed.

I saw the other partygoers raise their eyebrows and cover their mouths to snigger and whisper but I ignored them. They were obviously just jealous.

I looked at my friend, the birthday girl, the judge of the competition, and saw her staring with a kind of blank look but I carried on. She was probably thinking about how to let the other girl down gently when she gave me the prize.

The song finished and I collapsed to the floor, panting, perspiring.

Time to announce me as the winner! I was even prepared to be gracious to my defeated competitor as I claimed my prize.

But of course she announced the other girl as the winner, mouthing “I’m sorry” at me.

I shrugged, as if it didn’t matter, picking myself up off the floor, but deep inside a small hurt voice was asking, “What was wrong with my dancing?” And worse, “Was everyone actually laughing at me?”

I did get a consolation prize though. A novelty sharpener in the shape of an old jalopy.

(Remember when novelty sharpeners were a thing? And novelty rubbers (erasers) too. People used to collect them.)

I kept that sharpener for many years to remind me of that moment, that moment when I learned that friendship is not the be all and end all in life; that moment I learned that having high self confidence and belief in yourself isn’t always going to get you there; and most importantly, that moment I learned not to let it all go when I was dancing.