Well, man

“I’ve been taking Wellman since my twenties.”

I see this poster at the station every morning and every morning it confuses me.

My first point of confusion is because I don’t know who David Gandy is. Obviously he’s some kind of ‘celebrity’. But I don’t know his celebrity background and why that makes him adequately qualified to tell me about vitamins.

He can’t be that well known because I have never heard anyone talk about him, unlike other celebrity types I’ve seen in these ads.

I have tried to work out what his celebrity background is from his appearance, but all I can guess is he might be from a band from the 1980s. He has that kind of look. I can picture him in this pose with bigger hair, lip gloss and a shiny suit but without the beard.

However I could be wrong. Maybe he’s an ex-football player. I don’t follow sports so I wouldn’t know. But at least a former sports person might be better placed to advise me about vitamins than someone who wore a shiny suit and danced like a prat in the 80s.

Secondly, it’s fine that he’s been taking these vitamins since his twenties, but how old is he now? Is he in his thirties? His sixties? His eighties? If I knew this, I would maybe have more confidence in his vitamin recommendation, based on how good he looks for his age.

However I am guessing that he has had some tightening or brightening face work done. Again this is just supposition on my part and I’m basing it on other pop idols from the 80s who have a similar look. Like they don’t look quite as old as they should be.

But maybe that’s me too. As I get older, people older than me look less old (while people younger than me all look about 12 or 13).

I could get my phone out and google him but I prefer to keep the mystery and just look at the poster in confusion and mystery. There is so little mystery left in life, I am happy to keep the origins of David Gandy unknown until I hear someone mention him in conversation. I’ve been waiting a long time for this and it hasn’t happened yet.

Anyway, even if I knew who he is and how old he is, and was impressed that the vitamins kept him looking good (compared to other lifestyle factors such as diet, plastic surgery, etc.) I am not his target market because he is advertising vitamins for men, so what I think doesn’t matter.

Do you know who David Gandy is? If you do, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.